Out of Hand; Out of Style

If you don’t know Tujuane then: it is a show which hooks up two heterosexual couples who have contacted their facebook page to appear on their show and possibly fall in love while definitely getting free food and drinks.

In its 12th episode, a clip of which has garnered close to 200,000 views on youtube (at the time of writing this) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow0IA98ldXc) there was a particularly interesting  pairing between a girl who thinks highly of herself and a guy who thought he was getting lucky to date a light skinned girl who clearly knows the benefits of beauty products. The date started off as most do on the show: boring. Then the commentaries came on and suddenly it was very interesting– the show not the date.

The girl described the guy in non-too-pleasant light which was a rude shock to the guy. I don’t know where the general male population of Nairobi got the idea that light-skinned girls are supposed to be nice and complacent but she definitely schooled him differently on that front.

The response on the clip summarise what people thought of the girl as the show went on and while I wasn’t impressed with her, I wasn’t impressed with him either. Somehow that didn’t catch up to…anyone else watching the show.

Yes, the girl was uppity and crossed the politeness line plenty of times but the guy wasn’t an angel. He was no one’s victim. His conversation skills suck and for a photography guy, he messed up on the clothes front. The thing that irks me the most about him is his implied blatant racism and not of the positive kind. He thought he’d hit the jackpot because she’s light skinned. Then decided she was rude and uncouth because she called him out on his dress sense not complimenting his complexion. Somehow that became her deciding his dark skin tone was a problem.

What?

I’d like to know the same.

It doesn’t stop there. The man plays rugby or so he claims. So who does he know in the world of sports? Wayne Rooney and no one else. I’ve heard of hardcore Manchester United fans but they also know Giggs, Rafael, Ferdinand and Evra exist.

Somehow, through all these questionable revelations, his date suffers the brunt of ridicule because she deems herself a diva and finds his conversational skills (or lack thereof) pathetic. She gets disrespected and harassed because she sarcastically points out he has a visa card but can’t dress better or differently because he’s from the ghetto. According to the majority, she is a problem; she’s wrong and she needs to check herself.

Well, everyone on that train needs to apply the same to themselves. They have a problem, they are wrong and they need to check themselves. If the response on youtube, the memes and facebook pages show anything of present day mentality of some youth it’s that they have the worst sense of misogyny this country has ever experienced.

Our parents and their parents have the excuse that they didn’t know what misogyny was or the effects it has on society but our generation; those born of the 70s, 80s and 90s; those who spend more time online than upcountry; we have the information on hand. We have the evidence in ourselves and instead of being better and different, you decide to be worse. Bravo, you have officially done what you vowed to never do; become worse versions of the generation you love to blame for everything wrong with the world. Now you are that generation and some of us have returned our official cards of said generations and are trying to get i with the 60s teens and tweens because they are better options.

Of course a lot of people will deny their bias and claim that the assessment is far reaching, untrue and unnecessary; all the while they will still be calling for the suicide of the girl; claiming the guy had the patience of Job and should be rewarded and deciding any female with any semblance of standards, preferences and attitudes that are not humble, submissive or highly tolerant; who doesn’t act as expected or demanded by strangers should be bullied until they change and even then never forgiven for any assumed transgressions. It happens to Kristen Stewart and Angelina Jolie but they have as many haters as lovers. Ms. Musa doesn’t have the same favour because she’s not a superstar, white  or a billion shilling babe.

The negativity towards her is out of hand and until it stops, I’ll be one person calling out the bullies on their behaviour and shaming them for their attitudes. The age of shaming women for having personal preferences without response thrived and died last millennium.

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