Out of Hand; Out of Style

If you don’t know Tujuane then: it is a show which hooks up two heterosexual couples who have contacted their facebook page to appear on their show and possibly fall in love while definitely getting free food and drinks.

In its 12th episode, a clip of which has garnered close to 200,000 views on youtube (at the time of writing this) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow0IA98ldXc) there was a particularly interesting  pairing between a girl who thinks highly of herself and a guy who thought he was getting lucky to date a light skinned girl who clearly knows the benefits of beauty products. The date started off as most do on the show: boring. Then the commentaries came on and suddenly it was very interesting– the show not the date.

The girl described the guy in non-too-pleasant light which was a rude shock to the guy. I don’t know where the general male population of Nairobi got the idea that light-skinned girls are supposed to be nice and complacent but she definitely schooled him differently on that front.

The response on the clip summarise what people thought of the girl as the show went on and while I wasn’t impressed with her, I wasn’t impressed with him either. Somehow that didn’t catch up to…anyone else watching the show.

Yes, the girl was uppity and crossed the politeness line plenty of times but the guy wasn’t an angel. He was no one’s victim. His conversation skills suck and for a photography guy, he messed up on the clothes front. The thing that irks me the most about him is his implied blatant racism and not of the positive kind. He thought he’d hit the jackpot because she’s light skinned. Then decided she was rude and uncouth because she called him out on his dress sense not complimenting his complexion. Somehow that became her deciding his dark skin tone was a problem.

What?

I’d like to know the same.

It doesn’t stop there. The man plays rugby or so he claims. So who does he know in the world of sports? Wayne Rooney and no one else. I’ve heard of hardcore Manchester United fans but they also know Giggs, Rafael, Ferdinand and Evra exist.

Somehow, through all these questionable revelations, his date suffers the brunt of ridicule because she deems herself a diva and finds his conversational skills (or lack thereof) pathetic. She gets disrespected and harassed because she sarcastically points out he has a visa card but can’t dress better or differently because he’s from the ghetto. According to the majority, she is a problem; she’s wrong and she needs to check herself.

Well, everyone on that train needs to apply the same to themselves. They have a problem, they are wrong and they need to check themselves. If the response on youtube, the memes and facebook pages show anything of present day mentality of some youth it’s that they have the worst sense of misogyny this country has ever experienced.

Our parents and their parents have the excuse that they didn’t know what misogyny was or the effects it has on society but our generation; those born of the 70s, 80s and 90s; those who spend more time online than upcountry; we have the information on hand. We have the evidence in ourselves and instead of being better and different, you decide to be worse. Bravo, you have officially done what you vowed to never do; become worse versions of the generation you love to blame for everything wrong with the world. Now you are that generation and some of us have returned our official cards of said generations and are trying to get i with the 60s teens and tweens because they are better options.

Of course a lot of people will deny their bias and claim that the assessment is far reaching, untrue and unnecessary; all the while they will still be calling for the suicide of the girl; claiming the guy had the patience of Job and should be rewarded and deciding any female with any semblance of standards, preferences and attitudes that are not humble, submissive or highly tolerant; who doesn’t act as expected or demanded by strangers should be bullied until they change and even then never forgiven for any assumed transgressions. It happens to Kristen Stewart and Angelina Jolie but they have as many haters as lovers. Ms. Musa doesn’t have the same favour because she’s not a superstar, white  or a billion shilling babe.

The negativity towards her is out of hand and until it stops, I’ll be one person calling out the bullies on their behaviour and shaming them for their attitudes. The age of shaming women for having personal preferences without response thrived and died last millennium.

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Where I post my work in progress demands a link for any accompanying photos; hence this post. This is for a story I’m rewriting about girl meets boy and paranormal happens to be one of them while the other could care about it for not.

Well this sucks tonnes of unnecessity. How can a writer by nature not have a thing to write about? Story wise; I suck; non-fiction wise, it’s bad. I don’t know what is going on but I don’t like it. It’s annoying and worse still; it’s out of the realm of personal tolerance.

I’m having a difficult time handling things this Monday. It’s usually my favourite day of the week.

I wake up with energy and look forward to the rest of the week and ready to do things. I make plans; I set up meetings. I do what normal people do. Today was pretty much the same until it wasn’t. I don’t know why it’s gotten so hard to just be but it has. I can barely stay on my game mentally when it comes to interacting with people online and every day I wonder why I have to.

People are stupid. People that stupid should be killed off. But ethics; morals; logic keeps me from saying that to their faces. It’s frustrating and annoying and sometimes it makes me want to hit something or someone. Mostly someone. Too bad I’m not violent enough physically.

I could be having a bad day. Maybe I need to read an erotica or to sleep because I feel terribly sleepy this week. Whichever the solution; I hope it works and works good.

More than words

This short about twins and their romantic relations with each other is so much more than just a movie about incest. The message I got from this movie was that people do what is necessary to make their lives work. Jan marries Sophie, a girl because he sees that is the acceptable way to be in society. Dan stays away from his brother because that us the acceptable way to live in society. The reactions of Jan’s friends when he kisses his brother is amazingly telling of society’s opinion on incest.
Further, I see Dan staying away from his brother is with more reason than simply needing to be independent or some other circumstances that drive family to put distance between or amongst each other. Jan can’t keep his hands off his brother when they are in close proximity and Dan can’t afford to have his brother’s affections showing so easily. He looks as if he feels guilty for feeling as he does for his brother but he doesn’t deny it as shown when Sophie tells him.
Sophie is a bright star in the midst of the angst between the brothers. She could rail and rage at Jan or Dan for their feelings and actions. Instead, she accepts Dan and his role in his brother’s life. She represents the side of society that is in the minority. The side that doesn’t do as what it supports.
This movie is quickly a personal favourite. I wonder if I can be like Sophie. If I can go for what I want like Jan; or if I am as ashamed for my nature as Dan because it is not considered acceptable.
It’s definitely worthy.

Feel Good Breakup

Every break up story has a victim and an offender nowadays. It takes a while to find one told from the heart breaker’s point of view and then, not a villainous one. One thing ending a relationship comes with is responsibility. That burden of saying goodbye and detaching from someone can suck. It can hurt; it can break; it can make one hate the other. But that is not the only result of ending a relationship. There is relief in saying goodbye to a commitment. There is a release of connections. The mind is free of thinking of someone constantly. Of worrying about where you stand; what has been said or unsaid. What has been done or not done. Your time is your own. You don’t have to schedule your activities around this one person. You don’t have to limit yourself according to someone else. You don’t have to be on call. It’s freedom from one aspect of life that felt burdensome. Or felt taken over. Sometimes, breaking a relationship off is for the best. And it feels good.